Let's do some calculation :

0-5 years old - 4-5 days weekly

5-10 years old - Maybe 3-4 days weekly

10-17? Maybe 1-2days weekly

17-25? Say 1-2 days/year?

On average calculation :

300 + 240 + 168 + 16 = 724 days + (5 years buffer)

= 2,549 days

Lifespan :

Avg. 25 years = 9,125 days

2,549/9,125 X 100% = 27.93%

1/3 of my life?

I think that calculation is a bit out, but nevertheless, it does shows below passing marks. Yes, there's still roof on my head, and education backed with that, but if you really think we would want to take a picture with her in it, no way. its not there anyway, why would you want to borther? its not like im not taking care of her, im doing my best with the current roof im under, if there's no 2ndary help from him and her, fuk, i dont even know where i would be right now instead of this office work. its not like ive achieved my dreams, and that recent no news from it makes it any better, you trying to be the know it all does not even help one bit, and we have her to get RM2k/month to pay the ultilities? then how come our H2O gets cut? man i wish i got RM20k, then i'll just leave everything behind, and actually start my own family that really works instead of having all those emo things. so you think im getting all high n mighty clubbing day and night drinking cos i have a degree with that kinda roof on my head? im trying to fix everything i can with these two hands (+2 la) with the damage you've done. its not easy but i know its not damn impossible, and i dont just run away which i can easily do now, even a few years back i could, but i didnt, cos we still have it and we cant leave him behind, till he dies which makes the whole point of staying under this roof for. every month, i dont go buying gucci bags nor burberry ties just to save, just for another try to gain back wat little things i look forward to. so, if i get a NO from a certain it, i dont want to get a NO from certain who, nor get a certain comment because...

my family didnt teach me to be polite, and i can curse however i want cos i can use that excuse.

its not like i can't kill myself, not only you can die if you didn't notice.

now i know where my confidence lies, deep buried in my genes.

now would be the time i wished for a normal family, but i wont, because i know i can fix watever is left of this one, i just need more time...

ps : sorry jane, i gotta make u wait a little longer for my promise to visit, i seriously feel bad about that, but i gotta patch some things up, and somehow i can see it...hopefully